A Moment of Complete Honesty
by WindyCity96
Summary: (Part 4 of the Romanogers Soulmate Series) Steve and Natasha finally tell each other how they really feel.


Steve Rogers stood in Sam Wilson's bathroom early that morning, the soldier's mind racing from all had learned the night before.

Hydra was alive. Hiding in plain sight. Leeching off the good work of the true-hearted agents of SHIELD like a parasite.

Everything Steve had sacrificed had been for nothing. Every battle the Howling Commandos had won was a hollow victory. Everything Peggy and Howard had built-,

Steve felt his throat clench up at the thought of Tony's parents. Hydra murdered Tony's parents. Executed them, at the hands of the Winter Soldier. And now Steve had to look Tony in the eye and tell him that.

As his thoughts became darker and bleaker, the first Avenger glanced at Natasha Romanoff's reflection in the mirror, the master spy silently drying her hair on the edge of Sam's bed.

* * *

SHIELD was a fraud. A cover for Hydra. Natasha could hardly believe it. SHIELD was supposed to be her salvation, a way to atone for all the red on her ledger. But all she did was add more.

The master spy glanced at Steve as he finished cleaning up, his eyes locked on the mirror. He was still shaken up from what they learned at the army base. Natasha could feel it. Ever since they kissed at the mall in DC, Natasha felt more...sensitive to Steve's emotional state. And right now, he was hurting, unnerved, and angry.

"Hey."

The Black Widow was quickly pulled out of her thoughts as Captain America spoke to her, sending a chill down her spine as they locked eyes.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," Natasha answered quickly, as she finished drying her hair.

She was lying. Steve knew that. Ever since their first kiss, Steve felt more intuned with Natasha. It was if their connection had been strengthened. And right now, Steve could tell, without a shadow of a doubt, that Natasha Romanoff was lying.

The soldier gave her a concerned look as he walked over and sat down next her. "What's wrong?"

Natasha felt her muscles relax as she looked into Steve's eyes, the icy blue mirrors of his soul lulling her into a calming state. "When I first joined SHIELD, I thought I was going straight. But I guess I just traded the KGB for Hydra. I thought I knew whose I lies I was telling. Guess I just don't know the difference anymore."

Steve could feel the remorse overtaking her. The guilt corrupting her fire. He wanted to hug her. To tell that she had nothing to be ashamed of. But all he could bring himself to say was. "There's a chance you might be in the wrong business."

Natasha chuckled. "I owe you," she told him, in a deeply grateful tone.

Steve shook his head dismissively. "It's okay."

"If it was the other way around, and it was down to me to save your life, and you be honest with me," Natasha stipulated "Would you trust me to do it?"

"I would now," Steve answered sincerely, earning a shocked look. Even though there was still so much he still didn't know about her, Steve did feel as if he understood Natasha in some strange way. "And I'm always honest," he added.

Always honest. Natasha never would expected that she would me a truly honest man. Until now. "You're awfully chipper for a guy who just found out he died for nothing."

"Well," Steve shrugged casually as he leaned back in his seat "Guess I just like to know who I'm fighting. Or maybe I'm still on cloud nine from kissing my soulmate."

It was the first time either one of them had ever said the word out loud.

Natasha's eyes widened. Her heart skipped a beat. Her skin became covered in goosebumps. "What did you say?"

"I said...that you're my soulmate." Steve's heart raced. His throat clenched up. His face turned bright red. Part of him wanted to act like he had said anything other than what he had. But then he realized that he couldn't keep this in anymore. "Ever since I came out of the ice, I have felt cold. Like there was part of me that never thawed, a piece of ice trapped inside me somewhere. And the only thing that makes me feel better, the only thing that makes me feel warm, is you. You are my soulmate Natasha," Steve repeated "The fire that keeps me alive. And I have been falling in love with you since the moment I met you. But I never said anything because I wasn't sure that you'd want me. But then you kissed me. And I saw what a life with you could be like. I saw us dancing by the light of a sunset. I saw us kissing on the Fourth of July, right when the fireworks went off. I saw us walking through Central Park, with our children. Two beautiful, beautiful children," he repeated "a boy and a girl. We are connected, Natasha. I can feel it. You must feel it, too. I know you can feel it."

"Of course I can feel it," she interrupted, finally breaking her silence "For as long as I can remember, I have spent everyday looking over my shoulder. Watching, waiting, for the moment when my past would catch up with me. And two years ago, for the first time I felt completely and utterly safe. When I met you. And I did see our children when we kissed," she confirmed "And we did share a dance. Only it wasn't the Fourth of July, it was Christmas Eve. You got us tickets to see the ballet."

"You like the ballet?"

"I love the ballet," Natasha answered "That part of you that's always cold, that piece of ice that won't melt, that's the part of you that I need the most. That's the part of you that stops my pain. That's what I feel when we're apart, Steve. A deep, burning pain that just won't stop."

Steve believed her. He could see the pain in her eyes. Feel it corrupting her fire. He just wished he'd seen it sooner. "Why did you keep trying to set me up on dates?"

"Because you deserve better than me. Someone who is kind and good and pure to keep your warm at night. I'm not any of those things. I've hurt people Steve," Natasha told him, as her Russian accent began to slip back into her voice "and if you knew what I was really was, there is not a doubt in my mind that you would want anyone else for a soulmate."

"You're wrong. I don't think I've ever wanted anything the way I want you in my life. And for the record, you are good," he insisted softly "and strong. And fierce and kind."

"You don't know what I've done."

"I know enough. I know that you used to work for the KGB. That SHIELD sent Clint to kill you. That he saw the good in you and offered you a chance to turn your life around for the better. Darling," the soldier gave the spy a gentle expression as he asked "if Clint could see the good in you when you were at your worst, what makes you I can't see it when you're at your best?"

Natasha took in a sharp breath as Steve reached over and took her hand, a wave of icy relief spreading over her like frost on a window pane. "I don't deserve you."

"Maybe it's not about deserve," Steve theorized "maybe it's about need. Maybe I'm your soulmate because you need someone to put out the guilt burning away at you. Someone who sees the good you don't even see in yourself."

"Maybe," Natasha confirmed in a small voice "So what do you need me for?"

"When I came out of the ice, I needed a reason to keep going. To see surviving the crash as a blessing and not a curse. I needed something to make me feel like a man instead of a soldier." Steve ran his thumb across the back of her hand as he went on "That's why I need you. All I'm asking for is a chance, Natasha. Just a chance," he pleaded "to make you happy."

The Black Widow was silent for a moment, the loud and constant fears in her head coming to a frozen stop as she stared into the soldier's eyes. "I was trained to make men like you fall in love with me. To wrap them around my finger and break them. I don't want to be that person anymore. So if this is going to work, we need to take things slow."

"I'm from the 1940s," Steve reminded "Taking it slow is my specialty."

"Funny. I thought it was popping the question, then breaking into a song and dance number."

Steve chuckled. "Darling, you've been watching too many old movies."

Natasha's cheeks grew red. "Keep calling me darling, and I just might let you steal another kiss."

"A gentleman never steals a kiss. But he will accept one of the lady is offering."

"See this face?" Natasha pointed a finger at herself, giving the soldier a soft, intimate expression "This is me offering you a kiss. So you better take it."

"Yes ma'am." Steve smiled softly as he leaned in close, gently pressing his lips against hers.

He could feel her fire the second the kiss began. Warming the darkest, coldest corners of his soul, making his heart race like a jet engine.

Natasha's muscles relaxed as she gave into the kiss, the winter cool of Steve's soul numbing the burns left by her past, allowing her to feel more than just pain, the air in her lungs slowly freezing over.

"I made breakfast."

The soldier and the spy jumped as Sam Wilson appeared in the doorway, a smug smirk forming across his face as he realized what his friends had been up to. "Of course, I could always come back."

"Uh no," Steve quickly cleared his throat he struggled to recompose himself, his face bright red as Natasha caught her breath "No, Sam. We'll be down in a minute."

As the former Air Force pilot walked out, Steve and Natasha shared a smile.

"Well," Steve paused as he tried to find the words "That was…,"

"Nice," Natasha finished, regaining her American accent.

"Very nice," he agreed with a widening smile "And I was wondering, after all this Hydra mess is over, would you like to go dancing with me?"

Natasha gave the soldier a teasing smile. "It's a date."


End file.
